Dividing the Spoils of a Relationship

Going Through Custody Wars


When couples with children decide they can no longer live with each other, they must first think of what is best for their offspring. Some of them believe they should automatically get them because they are the better parent, but that is not necessarily true. Other times the pair understands they are placing a huge strain on the kids, and they find ways to be mutually agreeable. For those selfish enough to believe fighting a hard battle just to win is the answer, custody wars often end up being decided in court.

Children are not possessions, and they often have deep emotional wounds before their parents ever file for dissolution of their marriage. They hear the endless arguments over everything, and many of them feel they are to blame for the situation. Often ignored while the relationship travels downhill with the speed of a long and deadly avalanche, these are the true victims. Their pain may go with them for the rest of their life, and the ones who are supposed to be in charge of protecting them are the ones doing the harm.

Most parents love their children and want the best for them, but it is not always a decision they are able to make on their own. When the courts become involved, it can be heartbreaking for everyone involved. Their lives will suddenly be invaded by neutral third parties, and the parents will each do their best to convince this once person they should have the right to raise their children. Torn between two people they love most in the world, their kids can become paralyzed by the situation.

It is never good for children to hear their parents argue without resolution, and they should never be subjected to physical violence between them. Love is about giving, and a parent fighting for custody should remember that is what their children need to see.