Dividing the Spoils of a Relationship

Keeping Friends after Divorce


There are few things that separate friends and acquaintances from people faster than divorce, and many of them are left wondering who will be their friend when it is over. If the divorce is not mutual, people often make the mistake of assuming they will end up with most of the friends as the injured party. Even in divorces where both parties agree it is time to end it, friends tend to choose sides. Their relationship to the couple is not always the deciding factor.

Longtime friends from childhood or before marriage are often faithful, and they tend to side with their first friend in the relationship. When the divorce occurs, they are a major part of the support system. They are known to remain a friend throughout, and they only stop being friends if that person has committed an unacceptable crime or physically hurt the other person. They are the best ones to give realistic advice, and the divorcee knows their friendship is one of their most valuable assets.

When one person in the relationship chooses to leave because they have been having an affair, they are often the ones who end up with the majority of the friends. This seems odd, but it must be taken into account that they have had months to set up their partner. They generally begin by telling close friends stories about their partner and garnering sympathy, and they ask the information to be kept in confidence. All of this leads friends and support away from their partner when the proceedings begin.

Casual friends are often lost during divorce, but there are some who become even closer than ever before. They may have seen the relationship going sour, and they know who the real injured party is in all of it. These are the people who will choose the side of the person who was made to suffer, and many of them become close friends by the time the divorce is done.